It's just like the Real World with babies
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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