maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
