Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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