Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
