Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
