And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
