Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
