The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have so many feelings about this burrito
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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