Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
