And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
