just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You need Xanax blowdarts
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
