Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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