Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
