This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
