So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
