A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
