I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
