i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
