Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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