Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
A bitchslap is in order.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
