And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
FUCK WHALES
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
