260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
