Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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