am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
