So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Green mimosas i think yes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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