Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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