i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
