Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
