i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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