i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Damn victory sex feels great
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
