You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
