I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
