May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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