ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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