Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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