i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Houston, we have a squirter
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
