Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
