Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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