i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
operation harelip BJ is a go
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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