so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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