A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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