it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
