So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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