Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
