you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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