Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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