i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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