she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
