I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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