The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
