How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
